I don't know what to do anymore.?

You need to decide if its over or not and if it is you need to move out and move on and eventually he'll do the same. If your having trouble dealing with how he is already, then thats what you'll be in store for if you marry this man. And your right, there is no going back to how it was cause now things are different in your head about him cause of how things are now. Look into the past and you'll see your future is my best advise.